"to have found God and to still pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love."
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3AM, I sit starring at the sky, searching for His face. Just a glimpse. Praying for a miracle. A sign He hears me. That He’s still on my side. That He’s got my back and holding me like He promised. “God, are you there? Do you see? I’m desperate. I’m desolate. Have mercy on me, let this pass from me.” Begging Him to speak, to break the darkness and set my sorrow aside.
I opened my bible app and scanned the verse of the day over the last couple of days and the third chapter of Lamentations jumped out at me so I began to read and continued through the whole chapter. I want to share this chapter. It’s not the whole entire thing but most of it. It’s a little long but please, I want you to read this. Let God speak to you where you’re at right now through this... Lamentations 3:1-58.... “I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. Surely against me is He turned; He turneth his hand against me all the day. My flesh and my skin hath he made old; he hath broken my bones. He hath builded against me, and compassed me with gall and travail. He hath set me in dark places, as they that be dead of old. He hath hedged me about, that I cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy. Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer. He hath inclosed my ways with hewn stone, he hath made my paths crooked. He was unto me as a bear lying in wait, and as a lion in secret places. He hath turned aside my ways, and pulled me in pieces: he hath made me desolate. He hath bent his bow, and set me as a mark for the arrow. He hath caused the arrows of his quiver to enter into my reins. He hath filled me with bitterness, he hath made me drunken with wormwood. He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes. And thou hast removed my soul far off from peace: I forgat prosperity. And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord : Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. For the Lord will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.” ....but than it continues.... “To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth, To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High, To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not. Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not? Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord. Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens. We have transgressed and have rebelled: thou hast not pardoned. Thou hast covered with anger, and persecuted us: thou hast slain, thou hast not pitied. Thou hast covered thyself with a cloud, that our prayer should not pass through. Thou hast made us as the offscouring and refuse in the midst of the people. All our enemies have opened their mouths against us. Fear and a snare is come upon us, desolation and destruction. Mine eye runneth down with rivers of water for the destruction of the daughter of my people. Mine eye trickleth down, and ceaseth not, without any intermission, Till the Lord look down, and behold from heaven. Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city. Mine enemies chased me sore, like a bird, without cause. They have cut off my life in the dungeon, and cast a stone upon me. Waters flowed over mine head; then I said, I am cut off. I called upon thy name, O Lord , out of the low dungeon. Thou hast heard my voice: hide not thine ear at my breathing, at my cry. Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee: thou saidst, Fear not. O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.” That chapter pretty much summed up what I could have expressed to God about the place I was at. But than He answered back the verses that I highlighted. That chapter was His answer. God was saying, “Hey I do see! This is how you feel isn’t it? Well you feel consumed but My mercies won’t allow you to be. Just wait, you’ll see just how great My faithfulness is. This won’t go on forever. I will redeem this pain and reward your faithfulness for there is purpose in this, its not pointless. I hear your cries, don’t be afraid cause your life is in my hands. Child, I’ve got you.” He could have just said, “I hear you.” And that would have been good enough. But He isn’t a God of good enough, He wants to go beyond for us. And that’s often why it feels like He is holding out, like He isn’t hearing our shouting heart cries. He wants to give us His best. And often times that includes: “wait. trust me. have faith. hold on just another day and another and another. My beloved, you’ll see what I’m doing, I promise it will be worth it.” He might not answer or fix what’s heavy on our hearts, what’s breaking our souls. But He will answer our heart cries for His promises, for His heart, help and strength. He will wrap His arms around us and engulf us in His love. We might feeling like we’re sinking, that our breath is about to run out. But you can be sure as He has promised that His mercy won’t allow it. You can hold tight to that promise. As I was writing this post a song came on and some of the words went as follows: “this life feels like the longest part. Even though eternity is ours.... We’re not where we’re going and we’re not lost where we are...taking the long way Home. there’s beauty in the backroads even when this journeys hard.” It’s a reminder that this life is only a short second in site of eternity. If this time on the earth is but a night compared to all of eternity, we can make it through this night. For “tomorrow” will bring a crown of glory. It will bring a timeless life free of worry, suffering and pain, filled with blissful pure joy, and peace living at the very side of our Savior. Continually enthralled in His gentle smile and even gentler heart. Live to hear you’re Savior say, “well done! Welcome Home My beloved.” Those are the words you’re going to hear on the other side of this hard night. Dear heart, It’s worth it.
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