"to have found God and to still pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love."
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You think life couldn’t get more heavy, but than it somehow does. The last couple days have been unmentionably tough. I don’t think I’ve ever prayed or searched for God more constant and desperately.
This morning I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. And the pain in my heart felt as though it had stolen everything inside of me. For the last little while I’ve cried out to Him in more of a loud, frustrated, angry way. Frustrated about everything I can’t control. About the things I desperately want to change but can’t. About the pain in my heart and life that I don’t understand why He’s allowing. But finally, my heart was quiet and gentle. Other times I came to Him in more of a demanding way, but this time I felt His glory, I could feel His goodness and I was humbled at His feet. My cry was more of a whisper. Something had changed. As I laid down on the porch with my arms stretched out I looked up to the sky and cried out to Jesus in a soft voice, “I can’t do this. I can’t carry this weight and pain anymore. Set me free. Set me free from everything. Please Jesus, please.” As I laid still, tears trickled down my face and the sun burnt my eyes. I continued to lay still for a few moments longer and then got up, not questioning for a second that He would answer my prayer. A couple hours later I was driving home from town when it hit me that the heavy in my heart was light and the ache was gone. The anxious thoughts and feelings and fear of tomorrow was gone. My heart was at perfect rest. He had heard my cry. It's been hard to believe He's heard and working lately, it's been a journey of faith and learning what trusting Him really means. But so many things to me about that, not only did He answer my cry but He also showed me that even though I don't see it He is working. Prayer has been a favorite of mine to study. We underestimate the power and privilege of prayer. I know sometimes it feels like He doesn’t hear, or even if He does, that are prayers are left floating in the sky and He does nothing with them. Jesus, longs for us to speak to Him nomatter the circumstances, even if we feel angry or frustrated towards Him. He wants you to tell Him, talk to Him about it. Even if it feels like He hasn’t answered your prayers, it doesn’t mean He isn’t hearing and lining every blessing up to arrive at just the right time. I know, I know! Sometimes it feels impossible to believe at all. But if you let Him, and if you take the time to listen and see, He will show you in the smallest most beautiful ways. If you talk to Him about all that is on your heart, He can give you whatever you need to get through. These aren't just my words, He has promised. One of my favorite verses, and one I've been claiming a lot recently is Isaiah 41:10. It goes as follows, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness." That's a promise. Claim it! One of my favorite things about prayer is that prayer doesn’t bring God down to us, but brings us up to God. When you pray you are rising above into Gods presence. In His presence is peace, healing, joy, rest, safety, assurance, comfort, love and the list goes on. When you pray, Jesus' angels incircle you with their wings. Just imagine that. Prayer is your most powerful tool in all of life through anything. Use it! As the Bible says, pray continually. Something I use to pray all the time was for Jesus to hold me. I needed to feel engulfed and held tight physically but I didn't have someone to do that for me. So I would ask Him to hold me. Obviously He is not physically felt, but nonetheless He would answer that prayer and those feelings of needing to be held would be satisfied. You don't have to drown under the weight of this, Jesus longs for you to reach up because He is already reaching down to you. Reach out your arms to Him, let Him pull you into the safety of His arms. "Come unto me, all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
2 Comments
Jeff
5/29/2019 10:47:15 pm
This came at just the right time. Thank you for sharing.
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Lori Braman
5/30/2019 09:05:21 am
SO beautiful!! Thank you, precious, for sharing your walk with Jesus with us!! I am inspired every time!! 🤗♥️
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23 | Wife | Servant of Jesus | friend | health enthusiast | animal lover | traveling | adventurist | music
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