"to have found God and to still pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love."
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I want to talk about depression and believing the lies that satan tells you through other people. I believe far more of us deal with these sorts of things than most are willing to admit. Vulnerability is important. Facing your pain and the things that are hurting you, is so important.
Often times when facing deep pain we try to stuff it down and play it off that everything's okay. But this only prolongs the pain and deepens it. When depression isn't dealt with, faced head on and battled against, it grows. The roots spread and it becomes a part of who you are. When lies are listened to over and over, you take them as truths and they will change you. God has equipped us with everything we need to battle against the arms of darkness. I get it, it might be clinical depression or genetic but I also believe in a God who can equip us with the tools to battle against it, that it does not have to rule in our hearts and lives. It is ours to claim the strength He daily wishes to provide. It is a battle fought moment by moment, day by day. And at each moment we seek for His strength, He provides. I want to talk about the lies we believe. Whether it's because of the things other people say to us or the way they treat us or things we come up with ourselves. For a long time I embraced the lies that being the sick girl made me less of a person. Part of my value seemed hinged on how well my body was. I believed the lie that because I faced so many dark days I was unstable, weak and a mess. Someone who didn't deserve to be loved until my struggles were gone and all was sunshine and smiles inside of me. I believed the lies that I wasn't a beautiful person anymore because of the things I was going through. I could go on and on, so many lies I embraced that they became a part of me. When you embrace those lies they change the way you treat yourself, treat others, think and react to things. It made me angry inside because I couldn't magically make myself well, and I desperately wanted to be "as important" as everyone else. I wanted to be a beautiful person. I wanted to be all sunshine and smiles. I messed up unspeakably during this time because lies ruled me. Depression ruled me. My sickness ruled me. I became a different person. I knew it and I missed Tiana. And that made me all the more angry because I wanted her back but didn't know how. I lost my relationship with God and pushed people away so hard because I felt like I had to be different before I let people close. Satan rejoiced at the sight of me. He held me captive. He fed me lies many different ways that I believed. But there stood Jesus. Patient and kind. Over and over, untiringly inviting me into His heart of truth. He offers healing and freedom in such deep ways that take us to a place as a person far deeper than had we not been through all of that. He is a God who doesn't let even our own mess ups go to waste. He redeems everything and uses it for our good. The Bible says in Philippians 4:8, "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things." If there is a thought that is bringing you down, lowering your value, or hurting you, God says do NOT think on those things. Our minds have so much control. And God wants us to dwell on the truths that He says, not on the lies that satan yells in our minds. Be mindful of where you allow your mind to go and the things you think and dwell on. When a thought comes to mind take it through a filter of true or false, good or bad. Ask yourself is, this something God would speak to me? if not, throw it out! Do not accept Satans thoughts. I have found that the most beautiful, deep, caring, and sincere solid people are the people who have gone through the most struggles and the darkest times. In the middle of their struggle they might seem like the worst person, but believe me, if they let God do as He will with their struggle they will be someone worth knowing. We read stories about people who went through crazy stuff and we are awed and look up to them for all they went through and went on to become. But when we have someone in our own lives in that place, not yet seeing what Gods going to do because of it, we get frustrated with them, look down on them and sometimes give up on them. Try to think about what they are going to become because of their struggle and fight for them on your knees. Watch what God can do. If you are the person struggling, be inspired that you are going to come out of this twice the person you were before if in the end you allow God to do the changing from satan and his lies. Trials are here to change us and transform us. To soften our hearts, give is sympathy, empathy and understanding. It helps us to be patient with other people, and love and care so much deeper. I like to look at it that my struggles only grow my value, not lessen it. Because the hardest times are what change us the most. Think about all Jesus went through, did it lessen His value? No! And it doesn't lessen yours. Stop embracing every thought. Not everything that seems true, is true. Just because you are tired, doesn't mean you're weak. The biggest and simpliest remedy I can offer is this: Fill your mind with Gods word. Keep your heart in a state of communion with God. Keep the channels open. Do not step out of His arms where satan has way to you. Continually lift your heart up to Him, redirecting your mind to dwell on His love and you will find that the chains will fall and satan will not hold your mind captive. Satan can not reach you where God is sought. Filling your mind with prayer and the reading of His word is a sure path to loosing the chains with which satan has kept you held bondage. I haven't talked about depression yet because thoughts are that powerful. And when you focus your thoughts on the character and love of God; of heavenly things, God will send His angels to surround you where satan's darts of darkness can not penetrate. As you dwell on God; on His love and mercy towards you, you will see that all damage done will be healed. Even in the darkness you will feel the sweetness of the sunshine living in His love, and He will give you a smile that no other power can take away. "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You. Because he trusts in You, trust in the Lord forever. For in the Lord, is everlasting strength." Isaiah 26:3-4
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